Blog

A note on Mother’s Day

May 12, 2024
cammy

We’re approaching one of those hard days. For some, it’s a day of sweetness, for others a day of stress, and, for others still, a day of grief. I was fortunate to grow up in a home with a loving Mom. She stayed home when we were little kids, worked part-time when we were older, and never made us doubt her love for us. She wasn’t perfect, but she was always there. I know that’s not the reality for everyone. As a new Mom, I cannot imagine ever allowing my daughter to doubt my unconditional love for her. Her smile lights up my entire world and I would do anything for her. Regardless of her identity, sexuality, or the person she chooses to marry, her Dad and I will be there to love, support, and celebrate her.  If you grew up with a different experience, a relationship that caused you pain, or a childhood that made you question your value, I want you to hear what this Mama has to say to you:  You are loved.   You are not a mistake.  You are beautiful.  You are important.   You are invaluable.   You were a blessing, a gift, truly a miracle.   Your feelings are valid and your…

Read More

Celebrate Before the Finish Line

January 18, 2024
cammy

As I’ve been building new habits over the years, I’ve noticed most people, myself included, forget about one important part of the process: celebrating the small wins. It becomes so easy to focus on the goal exclusively that the thousands of small victories required to get there are completely overlooked or pale in comparison to the big successes.  That sucks the joy out of life faster than hearing the words, “You’ve been summoned for jury duty.” And those words kill joy pretty quickly. In my opinion, we all need to give ourselves infinitely more credit in the process. These early experiences and lessons come long before the finish line and are typically the most challenging part. Creating new pathways in the brain is difficult, and it takes time. Reaching the finish line feels great, but what about the days you feel proud because you chose to show up when you didn’t want to and maintained that momentum?  Those days are the building blocks of the entire goal. That’s where the magic, the learning, and the transformation happen. Credit shouldn’t just be reserved for the sparkle. It’s not all about the medal, the award, the speech, the champagne, or the confetti….

Read More

Dear Mama,

January 12, 2024
cammy

Dear future me, I’m so proud of you. You’ve overcome battles I know not of. I can’t imagine all you’ve been through this year. The tears you’ve cried, the tears you’ve calmed, the showers you’ve found a new appreciation for, the quiet moments you celebrate, and the small wins that feel lifesaving. I’m proud of you. I can only dream of her right now, but she picked us to be her Mom for a reason. She’s strong, sweet, silly, and wiggly because of us. She’s probably stubborn because of you, us. She’s growing faster than either of us wants her to. The pregnancy I’m living in today probably seems like another lifetime to you. Still, I’m proud of us. Through all the changes, the physical pains, the personal growth, and the learning curve of becoming parents, I hope you’ve gained a new appreciation for your husband and fallen more in love with him as a Dad. I hope your new title feels a little less foreign and a lot more natural. I hope you’ve found community in the most surprising places and I hope you’re writing it down. The memories, the silly stories, the moments of massive vulnerability; whatever it…

Read More

September Musings

September 12, 2023
cammy

This morning, I sat down to write with an old song stuck in my head. It was Magic by B.O.B. It used to be one of my favorites in college. As I listen to the song, now on the third replay, I can’t help but take a walk down memory lane.  All these sweet memories of college mornings when I was in an ultra-peppy mood, listening to my iPod as I walked to class, and generally feeling good about life that day.  It was such a sweet and stressful time; when friends were so close, and it felt like anything was possible. It was just the beginning of adulthood. We’d build forts in shared living spaces and watch teenage dramas as we stared down the reality of choosing a major and career for the rest of our lives. The boys’ dorms were barely more than a bed and a laundry basket, while the girls’ dorms were beautifully decorated and smelled nice.  We were all growing up together and playing with some of the boundaries of our bodies. Stay up all night before an exam? Sure. Go out to the bars on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night? Done and done. Walk…

Read More

17 weeks and counting

September 11, 2023
cammy

“I really wish you wore pants so you could do more of this stuff.” – My husband, Tyler  At 17 weeks pregnant, I no longer wear pants around my home. Only when I go out in public do I pull up those pesky pants with the restrictive waistbands. When I’m at home, attempting to be comfortable as comfort grows more elusive by the day, the first thing to go is the pants.  When the doorbell rings, I wait for Tyler to answer, despite the massive window through which I can be seen and the stranger at the door can be seen. When Luna is barking in the backyard, disrupting the semi-quiet afternoons of our neighbors, I wait for Tyler to go and check on her, to quiet her.   As he got up to check on Lu yesterday, he walked out of the room and said, “I really wish you wore pants so you could do more of this stuff.” I giggled to myself, happy to remain cozy on the couch under my soft blanket. Later that night I would cough and feel a little pee come out as I did so. I fervently believe he has the better end of…

Read More

Alcohol-free anniversary: the first year

June 1, 2023
cammy

4 things that helped me along the journey.

Read More

The Dark Days Are Behind You

Author’s Note: This blog includes implications of self-harm and suicide.

Read More

Coffee with the voice of negativity

February 7, 2023
cammy

Can you remember the last time you believed in yourself? Can you remember the last time you honestly thought, “I think I could do that. I want to do that. I will do that.” Do you remember it? Can you remember the last time you did something without total confidence? Can you think of it? Do you remember what that felt like? How big did the fear feel? How real did the possibility of vulnerability fear? Did it stop you? I once shared with a friend my desire to write a book. She responded, “You’re a good writer but…a book? You don’t have THAT much value to share.” I once told a friend, “I would like to lose weight. My doctor said it would be a good idea. I’d like to see my body change and see the muscles I can feel growing.” She responded, “You’ve tried to lose weight before but you’re so weak around sweets. What makes you think this time will be any different?” I once shared with a friend, “I need a new job. I can’t do this anymore.” She responded, “I know work has been really hard, but what makes you think you’re qualified for…

Read More

I chose to quit drinking- here’s why 

January 1, 2023
cammy

Almost one year ago I decided to quit drinking. That one decision has had a lasting impact on my mental health and my life. Here are the top 5 reasons I chose to stop drinking.

Read More

Mama, are you okay?

December 21, 2022
cammy

The other day, as I was leaving coffee with a friend, I turned to her and reminded her to appreciate the days she is in. She’s about 10 years younger than I am and was planning to attend a Shrek-themed rave that night. It sounded like so much fun! I never went to a rave myself, but a night out with the girls sounded like so much fun.  These days, a girl’s night needs to be coordinated months in advance to ensure a babysitter is coming for the night, everyone is in town, and there are no familial obligations already in place. As I started my car, I thought about the sweetness I’m living in now that I might not be noticing. My husband, Tyler, and I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our first pregnancy. We’re excited to be parents, but I know we’re in a sweet time right now that we’ll look back and miss one day.  With that in mind, I took to social media and asked a question. I asked,“ new Mamas or pregnant Mamas, what do you miss about pre-baby days?”. The answers came flooding in, with the most frequent response being sleep. Others included:…

Read More