Blog

Space.

April 18, 2018
cammy

Take a look around the room you’re scrolling in, the train you’re riding, or the coffee shop you’re sipping in.  What’s happening in that space? How is it filled? What does it sound like? Are you alone or do you feel surrounded? Do you feel the freedom of a space only occupied by your body, or do you feel the weight of centuries of cruelty, intolerance, and judgment filling the space? Are you comfortable? When you look around this space, do you feel familiar with the rules of that space? Do you know what to do, how to act, whom to talk to, or when to avert your eyes? What does it feel like to be occupying that space you’re in? Are you small or do you feel validated and unaware of your presence? Space is no small topic. Space is restricted, controlled, manipulated, and broken. What fills the space, what breaks the space, what causes the most pain in the space is created by man.  Take, for example, space as a woman.  A woman is constantly aware of the amount of space she is allowed to occupy and how quickly the space she occupies can be used against her….

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Bigger Than My Body

March 1, 2018
cammy

I had never met the woman before, but she was wearing the white coat that gave her permission to tell me what to do. “There’s a significant change in the numbers here. Has there been a big change in your life?” My mind started running. There had been so many changes in the last year. I received my MA I got my anxiety under control I now feel joy more often than I feel panic I don’t feel horribly isolated all the time My dreams started coming to fruition A relationship ended Eating no longer makes me feel sick Perfection is no longer my driving desire She couldn’t see that. All she could see was the number growing and a percentage turning red. Our meeting lasted less than 15 minutes, but in that time she told me that my body wasn’t acceptable for my age group. “This is higher than I’d like it to be. I suggest seeing a nutritionist so this doesn’t continue.” Believe me, I haven’t been able to shake those words easily. Suddenly, my love and acceptance of my body shifted to thinking my body needed to be changed. My lifestyle needed to change so the “negative”…

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Where Does It Hurt?

January 16, 2018
cammy

I was seven years old the first time I felt I wasn’t good enough. A teacher came to my classroom to separate me from my friends. I was taken to a special, smaller room to receive help with my math and reading skills. I couldn’t articulate what was happening to me at the time, but I knew I was different. I remember feeling sad whenever I was removed from the class, taken away from all of my friends while they watched. When I got to the smaller room with the few other students who were there, I struggled. Reading was hard and basic math didn’t make sense to me. I knew I wasn’t good enough. That feeling followed me into my fourth grade class. I remember staring at a paper cup of brown beans. Today, I know it was a visual method to teach division. At the time, however, all I could do was stare at the paper cup and the brown beans in front of me wondering why I would never be smart enough to leave the low level math group. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why couldn’t I change? I sat there, praying…

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Strive for Greatness by Being You

December 28, 2017
cammy

When you’re chasing your dream career, it can be difficult to see a clear path at times. Maybe you’re in a rut at your job, maybe you didn’t get the promotion you wanted or maybe you’re questioning whether your goals are attainable. I still have my doubts on occasion. In these situations, I find advice from others is helpful. But pressure is not. It’s an easy trap to fall into; giving into pressure to maybe get ahead in our career and acting in certain ways that we truly don’t believe in. I’ll give you an example. Being in television, looks always come into play. For me, there’s always a pressure to be the best presenter out there. In the looks part of it, in my mind, that always meant having perfect hair, never having a pimple on my face and wearing the right makeup. Over the course of my career I’ve worked with managers, consultants and makeup artists to achieve what I thought was my best look. But what I found is my best look at each time was in many ways brought on by pressure of what they thought was my best look. “Your hair is too long, you…

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Get out of your comfort zone, and learn from it

November 30, 2017
cammy

We all have our weaknesses, the things and situations that we try to avoid. But some things, you just can’t hide from forever. For me, large social settings were never my jam. I discovered this about myself shortly after graduating college and started my first reporting job. Going out with a group of people I didn’t know very well and staying silent the whole time? Yeah, that was my reality in my early 20’s and once in a while it still is today. But I’ve become more outgoing and it’s for the better, not just in my personal life, but for my career. When I became a reporter, I knew what my job entailed; talking to people and hearing their stories. But approaching strangers wasn’t always easy. Sometimes I do interviews called “MOS” or “Man on the Street Interviews.” Before I explain, let me say, for most of my career I’ve been a solo journalist, also known as a Multimedia Journalist, Multi-Skilled Journalist, One-Man Band, Backpack Journalist…the list goes on. This means that I shoot my own video, write my own stories and edit them. I learned to “get MOS,” as we say in the business, quickly, at my first…

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Believe in Your Dream and Make it Happen!

November 2, 2017
cammy

“Don’t back down.” That’s what I told myself for years. “You will be a television journalist in the Twin Cities. You were meant to do this.” I’ve always believed that was true. From the time I was a child watching Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw anchoring the evening news, I was an instant news junkie always wanting to know the latest happenings in the world. As a kid, I relied on Paul Magers and Diana Piece at KARE-TV to tell me what’s going on in the Twin Cities. As I got older, I came to understand that they were more than just people sitting in chairs reading off a screen. They were journalists. They were working for their community. I wanted to be that person learning from and communicating with my community. Early on, I knew that I wanted to be a television reporter and that drive only grew from there   In high school and college, I’d sit in class daydreaming, thinking about the day I’d become a real-life reporter. All I could think about was how much I wanted to be done with school and do my career. I wanted to work in the Twin Cities before age 30….

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Rock What Ya Got!

October 27, 2017
cammy

I have always been a little overweight, today probably more than usual. But, as of recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t really want to hide behind that. I want to wear what I want, when I want no matter how I look in it. I’m still working on that to this day, but eventually I hope to get to the point where I’m 100% confident in rocking my two piece swimsuit in public and not just for my closest friends. I’m slowly finding out that I do still like how I look no matter what my size. In the age of crop tops and high-waist everything, I still want to wear that stuff. I want to wear it without spanks and not be judged. Well, I’m not going to wait around for others to stop judging. I’m going to wear what I want when I want and hopefully show other women that they should too. Or what about this baggy clothing trend? I always thought it would make me look like a sack of potatoes being the size that I am, but I DON’T CARE. I am all about being comfortable. If YOU don’t like it, YOU…

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Shutting Down Assumptions

October 18, 2017
cammy

That feeling you get, when you cannot seem to open your eyes from your slumber. That feeling like you haven’t slept in years even though you have been sleeping for over ten hours. When your body is so over rested, it is making you more tired. The sun is shining through my window and burning my eyes. I cover my head with my blanket, hiding from not only the sun, but life. Today I slept through my morning workout class and snoozed my alarm probably 23 times. Today I am annoyed with everything and everyone. Even the touch of a thread of my own hair, resting on my face pisses me off.  Today is one of those days. One of those days where I just can’t do it. There is a huge “to-do” list floating around in my mind like a pile of 100 necklaces tangles together. I stare effortlessly at the pile and I don’t have the energy to do it. I don’t have the energy to fix it. My room hasn’t been clean in weeks. I don’t have the time or energy to do it. I grab my phone and see too many notifications. They swarm my mind…

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What You Can Do in the Face of Fear

October 3, 2017
cammy

After the last few days we’ve had as a country, it can be easy to feel heartbroken and helpless. How do we possibly process something as terrible as the loss of 50+ innocent lives? What can we do to make this horrible time any better?  We’re here to give you a few ideas. We can’t change what happened, but we can have an effect on what has yet to happen.  Rather than accepting this violence as the norm and fearing for our safety, we can choose to create love in the face of fear and hate. Self-care Check-in with yourself. Take time to find your center and identify the emotions you are feeling. It’s okay to be sad, hurt, scared, and more. You are allowed to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Don’t hide from it or run away. Move through the emotion one moment at a time and do what you need to do to stay healthy. Get out into the world and see the beauty that IS there. I know you may want to hide in your home and let fear control your life, but that will only create more fear. We all deserve more than that. Visit…

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It’s the Little Things

May 23, 2017
cammy

Life moves fast. Days fly by, seasons change, and sometimes we don’t stop to notice. We focus on big events – the life-changers – the Instagrammed dream vacations, the Facebook-announced promotions, weddings, and mid-parade dance parties to ‘Twist and Shout.’ These deserve to be celebrated, of course, but there’s also so much to be enjoyed when you look at the little things. I’ve found the little things to be really helpful when dealing with my depression. Just like those tiny victories, the simple pleasures are small. They might not impress anyone else, and that’s ok. When I feel the cloud of gloom and doom settle over me and feel myself nicked by the double-edged sword of past rumination and future anxiety, I take stock of my favorite things – the little, easy, simple things – and it’s that much easier to beat back those grey clouds. My simple pleasures include daisies, old books, warm wool socks, driving with the windows down, a book that lays easily in your hand, snuggling with my kid, a perfect little black dress, dance parties, sitting with someone who makes you laugh until you ache, and macarons. Things like basking in the sun, splashing in…

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