It was the day you woke up asking God, “What’s wrong with me?” It was the moment the thoughts were overwhelming so you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. It was the morning you spent trying to figure out why the panic was there at the same time you had to calm yourself. It was the day you googled “what is wrong with me?” It was the journal entry that made you realize even talking about the shame would leave you feeling shameful, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the thought “someone has it worse than me, I should be grateful” playing on repeat. Maybe it was the day that made you feel like even leaving bed was too much to ask. Those moments, those heavy days, they’re really hard. I know, I’ve been there. It feels like you’re lifting the weight of your entire life, feeling the decades stack upon each other as the future grows darker. You think to yourself, “I can’t keep going like this. If the rest is going to be this hard, I can’t keep going like this. I need help.” I wish I could make you see how…
During this time last year, I was waiting on an acceptance letter to the University of Minnesota for grad school. I had applied for the child welfare program and was banking on going to grad school the next year. As I worked hard on my essay, had great letters of recommendations, and a good Baccalaureate GPA I believed there was no way I wasn’t getting in. My future was set. The funny thing about planning your life out is that it doesn’t always go that way. Just when I thought my future was set I didn’t get into the University of Minnesota. I was at dinner when I got the email, “We regret to inform you….” YES, it hurt like hell. YES, there were tears at dinner, and YES, at that moment I had no clue what was next in my life. It was a whirlwind of emotions but a blessing in disguise. Feeling such uncertainty can be very scary, but when you don’t know, God always knows. So there should never be a reason to be afraid. When one door closes, another door opens. That is exactly what happened to me. TEN MINUTES after I got my denial letter I…
I have a confession to make: I’m a perfectionist. It took me 24 years to realize this, but now that I have I’m seeing the many ways this pressure I put on myself creates more problems than it solves. It’s true, I give the world permission to make mistakes and be less than perfect but I still expect perfection from myself. It’s frustrating and, honestly, suffocating. That being said, this is the advice I’m giving myself (sometimes more than once) daily: You are stronger and more powerful than you realize. You can add brave to that, too. You are far more capable than you can understand at this moment. Just know that you already have everything you need to be exactly who you dream of becoming. There may be pain and frustration (or, in my case, lots of crying and dramatic phone calls) but you will ultimately get through. Keep pushing. Don’t give up. It’s okay to say no! Being your most fearless you means focusing on what you truly want to become, and taking offers that align with that vision. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Saying “no”, while scary, can be extremely empowering. You do not have…
For the Hard Days
It was the day you woke up asking God, “What’s wrong with me?” It was the moment the thoughts were overwhelming so you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. It was the morning you spent trying to figure out why the panic was there at the same time you had to calm yourself. It was the day you googled “what is wrong with me?” It was the journal entry that made you realize even talking about the shame would leave you feeling shameful, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the thought “someone has it worse than me, I should be grateful” playing on repeat. Maybe it was the day that made you feel like even leaving bed was too much to ask. Those moments, those heavy days, they’re really hard. I know, I’ve been there. It feels like you’re lifting the weight of your entire life, feeling the decades stack upon each other as the future grows darker. You think to yourself, “I can’t keep going like this. If the rest is going to be this hard, I can’t keep going like this. I need help.” I wish I could make you see how…
Submit to Your Calling
During this time last year, I was waiting on an acceptance letter to the University of Minnesota for grad school. I had applied for the child welfare program and was banking on going to grad school the next year. As I worked hard on my essay, had great letters of recommendations, and a good Baccalaureate GPA I believed there was no way I wasn’t getting in. My future was set. The funny thing about planning your life out is that it doesn’t always go that way. Just when I thought my future was set I didn’t get into the University of Minnesota. I was at dinner when I got the email, “We regret to inform you….” YES, it hurt like hell. YES, there were tears at dinner, and YES, at that moment I had no clue what was next in my life. It was a whirlwind of emotions but a blessing in disguise. Feeling such uncertainty can be very scary, but when you don’t know, God always knows. So there should never be a reason to be afraid. When one door closes, another door opens. That is exactly what happened to me. TEN MINUTES after I got my denial letter I…
Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist
I have a confession to make: I’m a perfectionist. It took me 24 years to realize this, but now that I have I’m seeing the many ways this pressure I put on myself creates more problems than it solves. It’s true, I give the world permission to make mistakes and be less than perfect but I still expect perfection from myself. It’s frustrating and, honestly, suffocating. That being said, this is the advice I’m giving myself (sometimes more than once) daily: You are stronger and more powerful than you realize. You can add brave to that, too. You are far more capable than you can understand at this moment. Just know that you already have everything you need to be exactly who you dream of becoming. There may be pain and frustration (or, in my case, lots of crying and dramatic phone calls) but you will ultimately get through. Keep pushing. Don’t give up. It’s okay to say no! Being your most fearless you means focusing on what you truly want to become, and taking offers that align with that vision. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Saying “no”, while scary, can be extremely empowering. You do not have…