Celebrate Before the Finish Line
As I’ve been building new habits over the years, I’ve noticed most people, myself included, forget about one important part of the process: celebrating the small wins. It becomes so easy to focus on the goal exclusively that the thousands of small victories required to get there are completely overlooked or pale in comparison to the big successes. That sucks the joy out of life faster than hearing the words, “You’ve been summoned for jury duty.” And those words kill joy pretty quickly. In my opinion, we all need to give ourselves infinitely more credit in the process. These early experiences and lessons come long before the finish line and are typically the most challenging part. Creating new pathways in the brain is difficult, and it takes time. Reaching the finish line feels great, but what about the days you feel proud because you chose to show up when you didn’t want to and maintained that momentum? Those days are the building blocks of the entire goal. That’s where the magic, the learning, and the transformation happen. Credit shouldn’t just be reserved for the sparkle. It’s not all about the medal, the award, the speech, the champagne, or the confetti….
Dear Mama,
Dear future me, I’m so proud of you. You’ve overcome battles I know not of. I can’t imagine all you’ve been through this year. The tears you’ve cried, the tears you’ve calmed, the showers you’ve found a new appreciation for, the quiet moments you celebrate, and the small wins that feel lifesaving. I’m proud of you. I can only dream of her right now, but she picked us to be her Mom for a reason. She’s strong, sweet, silly, and wiggly because of us. She’s probably stubborn because of you, us. She’s growing faster than either of us wants her to. The pregnancy I’m living in today probably seems like another lifetime to you. Still, I’m proud of us. Through all the changes, the physical pains, the personal growth, and the learning curve of becoming parents, I hope you’ve gained a new appreciation for your husband and fallen more in love with him as a Dad. I hope your new title feels a little less foreign and a lot more natural. I hope you’ve found community in the most surprising places and I hope you’re writing it down. The memories, the silly stories, the moments of massive vulnerability; whatever it…
September Musings
This morning, I sat down to write with an old song stuck in my head. It was Magic by B.O.B. It used to be one of my favorites in college. As I listen to the song, now on the third replay, I can’t help but take a walk down memory lane. All these sweet memories of college mornings when I was in an ultra-peppy mood, listening to my iPod as I walked to class, and generally feeling good about life that day. It was such a sweet and stressful time; when friends were so close, and it felt like anything was possible. It was just the beginning of adulthood. We’d build forts in shared living spaces and watch teenage dramas as we stared down the reality of choosing a major and career for the rest of our lives. The boys’ dorms were barely more than a bed and a laundry basket, while the girls’ dorms were beautifully decorated and smelled nice. We were all growing up together and playing with some of the boundaries of our bodies. Stay up all night before an exam? Sure. Go out to the bars on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night? Done and done. Walk…
17 weeks and counting
“I really wish you wore pants so you could do more of this stuff.” – My husband, Tyler At 17 weeks pregnant, I no longer wear pants around my home. Only when I go out in public do I pull up those pesky pants with the restrictive waistbands. When I’m at home, attempting to be comfortable as comfort grows more elusive by the day, the first thing to go is the pants. When the doorbell rings, I wait for Tyler to answer, despite the massive window through which I can be seen and the stranger at the door can be seen. When Luna is barking in the backyard, disrupting the semi-quiet afternoons of our neighbors, I wait for Tyler to go and check on her, to quiet her. As he got up to check on Lu yesterday, he walked out of the room and said, “I really wish you wore pants so you could do more of this stuff.” I giggled to myself, happy to remain cozy on the couch under my soft blanket. Later that night I would cough and feel a little pee come out as I did so. I fervently believe he has the better end of…
Alcohol-free anniversary: the first year
4 things that helped me along the journey.
The Dark Days Are Behind You
Author’s Note: This blog includes implications of self-harm and suicide.
Coffee with the voice of negativity
Can you remember the last time you believed in yourself? Can you remember the last time you honestly thought, “I think I could do that. I want to do that. I will do that.” Do you remember it? Can you remember the last time you did something without total confidence? Can you think of it? Do you remember what that felt like? How big did the fear feel? How real did the possibility of vulnerability fear? Did it stop you? I once shared with a friend my desire to write a book. She responded, “You’re a good writer but…a book? You don’t have THAT much value to share.” I once told a friend, “I would like to lose weight. My doctor said it would be a good idea. I’d like to see my body change and see the muscles I can feel growing.” She responded, “You’ve tried to lose weight before but you’re so weak around sweets. What makes you think this time will be any different?” I once shared with a friend, “I need a new job. I can’t do this anymore.” She responded, “I know work has been really hard, but what makes you think you’re qualified for…
I chose to quit drinking- here’s why
Almost one year ago I decided to quit drinking. That one decision has had a lasting impact on my mental health and my life. Here are the top 5 reasons I chose to stop drinking.
Mama, are you okay?
The other day, as I was leaving coffee with a friend, I turned to her and reminded her to appreciate the days she is in. She’s about 10 years younger than I am and was planning to attend a Shrek-themed rave that night. It sounded like so much fun! I never went to a rave myself, but a night out with the girls sounded like so much fun. These days, a girl’s night needs to be coordinated months in advance to ensure a babysitter is coming for the night, everyone is in town, and there are no familial obligations already in place. As I started my car, I thought about the sweetness I’m living in now that I might not be noticing. My husband, Tyler, and I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our first pregnancy. We’re excited to be parents, but I know we’re in a sweet time right now that we’ll look back and miss one day. With that in mind, I took to social media and asked a question. I asked,“ new Mamas or pregnant Mamas, what do you miss about pre-baby days?”. The answers came flooding in, with the most frequent response being sleep. Others included:…
My Favorite Books of 2022
It was the spring of 2020. Tyler and were living our entire lives in a small condo. I looked at my single bookshelf and thought “I wish I could be someone who finishes books”. It had been years since I’d finished a novel. I decided to give it a try. At that point in time, we were living with the reality of a relentless that would only continue to get worse. Businesses were either essential or closed, and I needed a way to escape the reality we were all trying to cope with. Off to Target we went, and I bought the book that grabbed my interest the most: a psychological thriller. Two years later, I just finished my twenty-fifth book of the year. I decided to start documenting and reviewing my books in the last two years. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll find all the books with very brief ratings in my highlights. As we come to the end of another year, I wanted to offer my favorite reads from the year in no particular order. 1. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid – This novel was everywhere at the beginning of 2022….
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