Almost one year ago I decided to quit drinking. That one decision has had a lasting impact on my mental health and my life. Here are the top 5 reasons I chose to stop drinking.
It was the day you woke up asking God, “What’s wrong with me?” It was the moment the thoughts were overwhelming so you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. It was the morning you spent trying to figure out why the panic was there at the same time you had to calm yourself. It was the day you googled “what is wrong with me?” It was the journal entry that made you realize even talking about the shame would leave you feeling shameful, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the thought “someone has it worse than me, I should be grateful” playing on repeat. Maybe it was the day that made you feel like even leaving bed was too much to ask. Those moments, those heavy days, they’re really hard. I know, I’ve been there. It feels like you’re lifting the weight of your entire life, feeling the decades stack upon each other as the future grows darker. You think to yourself, “I can’t keep going like this. If the rest is going to be this hard, I can’t keep going like this. I need help.” I wish I could make you see how…
To be blunt, I decided to go to grad school for all the wrong reasons. My inner-critic was very loud at the time and the life-changing effects of anxiety medication and therapy had not yet entered my life. I was one year out of undergrad, living with my parents, and desperately searching for a recognizable path to success. Basically, I was in my early twenties and tired of feeling like I was frolicking around with no real direction. Acquaintances would regularly ask me “where are you working and living now?” and I hated my lack-of an answer. So, why not go back to school? Honestly, I wouldn’t trade my graduate experience. It was damn hard, but that was mostly the pressure I put on myself, not the actual program. However, if you’re coming to the end of your junior year of college or, like I was, trying to find the easy path after a few years away from school, I’d like to offer some advice: Do not go to grad school just because it’s the next step in the educational process. Grad school is like 4 years of college squished into 2 years with very little of the fun. Your…
The last few weeks have been HARD. My car was stolen (more on this later), I had a rental car for a couple weeks, I moved to a new apartment, I went through the process of buying a new car, found the stolen car 5 weeks after it was stolen, and I am now in the process of feeling secure in my car once again. It has been an emotional and psychological rollercoaster that I do not recommend. Unfortunately, life tends to throw things into life that we don’t expect and we’re all forced to deal whether we like it or not. That being said, I wanted to offer some helpful suggestions for getting through the tough times with strength and grace. 1. Feel all the feelings. Confusion, shock, pain, heartbreak, anger, fury, fear, anxiety, frustration, impatience… those are just a few of the emotions I felt the first day when I realized my car was gone. I cried. A lot. My thoughts became hurt and angry; I was confused as to why someone would do this. Despite the pain and negativity I was feeling, I allowed myself to feel all of it. Trying to avoid any of it wouldn’t allow me to get to where I…
Alcohol-free anniversary: the first year
4 things that helped me along the journey.
I chose to quit drinking- here’s why
Almost one year ago I decided to quit drinking. That one decision has had a lasting impact on my mental health and my life. Here are the top 5 reasons I chose to stop drinking.
For the Hard Days
It was the day you woke up asking God, “What’s wrong with me?” It was the moment the thoughts were overwhelming so you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. It was the morning you spent trying to figure out why the panic was there at the same time you had to calm yourself. It was the day you googled “what is wrong with me?” It was the journal entry that made you realize even talking about the shame would leave you feeling shameful, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the thought “someone has it worse than me, I should be grateful” playing on repeat. Maybe it was the day that made you feel like even leaving bed was too much to ask. Those moments, those heavy days, they’re really hard. I know, I’ve been there. It feels like you’re lifting the weight of your entire life, feeling the decades stack upon each other as the future grows darker. You think to yourself, “I can’t keep going like this. If the rest is going to be this hard, I can’t keep going like this. I need help.” I wish I could make you see how…
Why did I decide to go to grad school?
To be blunt, I decided to go to grad school for all the wrong reasons. My inner-critic was very loud at the time and the life-changing effects of anxiety medication and therapy had not yet entered my life. I was one year out of undergrad, living with my parents, and desperately searching for a recognizable path to success. Basically, I was in my early twenties and tired of feeling like I was frolicking around with no real direction. Acquaintances would regularly ask me “where are you working and living now?” and I hated my lack-of an answer. So, why not go back to school? Honestly, I wouldn’t trade my graduate experience. It was damn hard, but that was mostly the pressure I put on myself, not the actual program. However, if you’re coming to the end of your junior year of college or, like I was, trying to find the easy path after a few years away from school, I’d like to offer some advice: Do not go to grad school just because it’s the next step in the educational process. Grad school is like 4 years of college squished into 2 years with very little of the fun. Your…
My Top 5 Strategies for the Garbage Fire Days of Life
The last few weeks have been HARD. My car was stolen (more on this later), I had a rental car for a couple weeks, I moved to a new apartment, I went through the process of buying a new car, found the stolen car 5 weeks after it was stolen, and I am now in the process of feeling secure in my car once again. It has been an emotional and psychological rollercoaster that I do not recommend. Unfortunately, life tends to throw things into life that we don’t expect and we’re all forced to deal whether we like it or not. That being said, I wanted to offer some helpful suggestions for getting through the tough times with strength and grace. 1. Feel all the feelings. Confusion, shock, pain, heartbreak, anger, fury, fear, anxiety, frustration, impatience… those are just a few of the emotions I felt the first day when I realized my car was gone. I cried. A lot. My thoughts became hurt and angry; I was confused as to why someone would do this. Despite the pain and negativity I was feeling, I allowed myself to feel all of it. Trying to avoid any of it wouldn’t allow me to get to where I…