Depression is hard. It’s really, really hard. Someday maybe I’ll write about what the depths of what that actually felt like, but lately I’ve been working to see that sunshine and focus on the positive. I’m working on winning my tiny victories.
When you’re fighting depression, the smallest thing is overwhelming. I was too tired and worn out to do anything, even simple things like pick up my toddler’s socks from the living room floor without bursting into tears. Tasks that seem so easy and routine when you’re healthy now require you to disembark on grand voyages when you’re sick.
When I’m in the lowest points of my depression, my tiny victories are things like staying awake past 6:30pm and not crying on my way to work. However, the Catch-22 of depression is that you’re not able to see past the depression to celebrate those as victories. Now that I’m learning how to deal and what works best for me, my tiny victories look like eating enough fruits & veggies for the day and having enough energy to take my daughter to the playground after work.
Tiny victories can be something you achieve every day. Little moments deserve to be celebrated as much as big ones do. What’s great about them is that they can literally be about anything. Drank a glass of water instead of your 6th coffee? Victory! Showered? Victory! Ate an entire king-size Twix bar and didn’t feel guilty because you needed some chocolate-covered self-care? King-sized Victory!
Today my tiny victories were that I walked in and out of Target without buying anything, and that I had enough energy reserved to read my daughter a bedtime story. And if you have days where you feel like no victory was in sight, that’s ok too.
There’s a quote I like that says, “Sometimes it’s ok if the only thing you did today was breathe.” Depression is a beast and sometimes dealing with it feels like trying to hit a moving target, but even on the tough days where it doesn’t feel like you accomplished much, you lived to see another day. And that is way more than a tiny victory.