More Bitter Than Sweet
This was a big year for “lasts.” Some lasts I was happier to experience than others. Those others, however, I’m already missing. It’s never easy to watch something come to an end but it happens no matter what. So today, my LAST day of high school, I say goodbye to 18 years of my life in education to now move on to bigger things.
The first last of this year was probably the hardest. To make it worse, I never forgot about it all year. It just sat in the back of my mind as all my other lasts came along. I said goodbye to cross country, a sport I have done since fourth grade. I refused to cry because I’m not a crier but as the title of this says, it was more bitter than sweet. When I thought about it, it was truly the last time I would ever experience anything like that. Spending every Saturday morning at an organized officially timed race with 300 other high school girls in Florida will never be a part of my everyday life again. On the other hand, it felt good to move on. Looking back on it, I can proudly tell anyone that asks that I did four years of cross country in high school. It’s an accomplishment in itself and I know that my running career doesn’t get left there. I still haven’t stopped running and I don’t plan to any time soon.
Going through the stages of “last” recovery weren’t too bad but right when I got to the acceptance phase another hard last hit me in face: wrestling. This sport is very near and dear to my heart, as well as the friends and coaches I got to share it with. But have no fear, my wrestling career is officially continuing as I have already contacted the coach at University of South Florida about being able to join the team. So unlike cross country, I will be able to lace up and step on the mat again. Wrestling didn’t end the way I wanted it to, in terms of goals I set myself, but when I remember what I did do I don’t even realize those things. I’m also extremely blessed to be able to carry those goals with me to USF, the dreams aren’t dead.
There’s also those lasts that I was thrilled to say it was my last. As much fun as I had doing some activities or clubs, the fun slowly died out. The motivation to continue was rough but I made it through. To explain, I have been heavily involved in a club called Interact Community Service Club, where as I served as president this year. I was extremely passionate about it and thoroughly wanted to use it for self-growth as a leader. As the years went on though the members got lazier and the sponsor got scattered. Ultimately it turned into more of a chore. But leaving that behind and being happy to say goodbye is also a good thing. Some things stay in high school or some things carry with you to your future endeavors. All that matters is that you stuck it out, finished what you started, and have the experience.
What some don’t notice about “lasts” is that they’re the starting step to creating a first. You always hear the saying “one door closes and another one opens.” Well, that whole heartedly is true. One last is off the list making room for one first to be added. Moving on is good. It’s what gets people to where they are and it’s what makes people who they are.
Before I type my last sentence for this blog, I need to justify one misconception. It’s never a goodbye, it’s a see you soon. What do I mean by this? Honestly, it’s whatever you make of it. I challenge you this though, stop saying goodbye and start saying see you soon. It made me try harder to maintain friendships, habits, activities, anything. So with that in mind, see you all soon.
Seize the day,