How to Beyonce
There’s a trend I’ve noticed among millennial women, myself included. There’s a group of women we idolize because of what they represent and the attitude they exude. It’s the love affair we have with Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Jennifer Lawrence, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and more. We admire their confidence, their strength, their attitude, and their fearlessness. We see the way they use their voices and we love them for it.
We praise the “flawless” attitude and we embrace an empowered sense of self.
Then, I step away from the Internet and I see a generation of women who don’t know how to love themselves. That’s not okay. Because, really, praising these women and living life in a similar fashion really isn’t that hard. I know I’m not Queen Bey, but I have a few suggestions on how to live a more “flawless” life (and I’m pretty sure she would agree):
Be bold enough to stand among a group of your friends and look different. We don’t need to be an army of the same. You have your own mind and your own style. Do you.
Be brave enough to embrace your silly. Life is about learning to accept yourself, love yourself, and have fun being yourself. Be goofy and show the world. Get it, girl.
Don’t waste your time getting up day after day, looking in the mirror, and thinking about every single thing you dislike. Is that A) really how you want to start your day, and B) the way you WANT to think about yourself? You really can choose your thoughts. Choose wisely.
When you go shopping, leave the body comments behind. Your body wasn’t mass-produced. You don’t need to “hide” anything. Own your curves, take care of yourself, and eat the cupcake. Besides, any woman who has ever attempted to shop in more than one store knows that sizes mean absolutely nothing. My bet is they throw numbers at items like an amateur throws a dart at the board, then call it a day. The beauty and strength of your body have nothing to do with the number on the tag. Seek comfort and confidence, not a number.
Let it go. I don’t care who made what comment. They’re wrong. You’re not too much of anything. I repeat, YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING. Haters gonna hate. And, if you’re the one hating on yourself… (in the words of Amy Poehler), REALLY? REALLY?! Quit it, sista.
(You may now sing your own rendition of the hit song from Frozen if you’d like).
You don’t know her so don’t judge her. Introduce yourself and have a conversation with another woman before you form an opinion. If you’re at all interested in creating a kinder world for girls and women, create that kindness within yourself. I can’t promise this kindness will always be returned to you, but it only takes one person to make a difference to another. We all feel too much pressure from the world around us. You can make it a little easier.
It’s a journey, not a competition. Make life simpler by quitting the comparison. What’s the point? Seriously. She exists in her space and you exist in yours. If you find you’re jealous of what she has, ask yourself why. Then get moving. If it has something to do with appearance, know that she has insecurities and body frustration just like you. Stop it. Nobody’s perfect.. If it has something to do with what she does with her life, guess what? You have one, too. You choose your priorities and what you do with your time, just like she does. Want something different? Instead of comparing your life to hers, change your actions to focus your time on creating the life you want instead of being jealous of hers.
Learn to shed the excess weight. Just like clothing and phases, we’re supposed to grow out of old thoughts and habits. Think about what life would be like if we held onto our physical life like we hold onto our thoughts and beliefs. In my life, that would mean Jesse McCartney and the Jonas Brothers would be the two CD’s I have on hand and I’d be sharing a cell phone with my brother. Fortunately, my taste in music has changed, technology evolves faster than I can afford to buy it, and I no longer live with my parents. Shed the thoughts and relationships that no longer serve you. Feelin’ like you need an update? Do it.
More than anything else, forget the idea that your value, worth, and beauty are determined by a world outside of yourself. We’ve grown up in a society that has tried to tell us what we should be ashamed of and what we should try to change. The pressure is growing and the list gets longer every day. But it’s not worth it. If you listen to the insecurities and invest in the lies, you’ll spend a lifetime feeling stressed out, insecure, and overwhelmed. I mean it. That stuff doesn’t go away unless you consciously decide to live and think in a different way.
Want to be more like beyonce? You don’t need millions of dollars and you don’t need a closet full of clothing. What you do need is confidence. Think about it – the woman released an entire album just before midnight on a random Thursday and people lost their minds. It’s about being brave enough to take a risk and showing the world exactly who you are. What’s more flawless than that?
Want more proof? Take it from the words of the women we adore: