As I’ve been building new habits over the years, I’ve noticed most people, myself included, forget about one important part of the process: celebrating the small wins. It becomes so easy to focus on the goal exclusively that the thousands of small victories required to get there are completely overlooked or pale in comparison to the big successes. That sucks the joy out of life faster than hearing the words, “You’ve been summoned for jury duty.” And those words kill joy pretty quickly. In my opinion, we all need to give ourselves infinitely more credit in the process. These early experiences and lessons come long before the finish line and are typically the most challenging part. Creating new pathways in the brain is difficult, and it takes time. Reaching the finish line feels great, but what about the days you feel proud because you chose to show up when you didn’t want to and maintained that momentum? Those days are the building blocks of the entire goal. That’s where the magic, the learning, and the transformation happen. Credit shouldn’t just be reserved for the sparkle. It’s not all about the medal, the award, the speech, the champagne, or the confetti….
One beautiful morning last week, my husband and I were laying poolside in Mexico as the sun cast itself upon our legs. We were enjoying our morning coffee when a staff member walked across the shallow pool. She made her way into the deeper end as two older women followed. It was time for the morning pool workout. Slowly, the group grew in number. I watched from the side as they began their warm-up. Shortly after they began, I watched as a little girl, no older than 5, walked toward the group. She circled her arms as the group did, inflatable lifesavers around each arm, and joined right in. I kept watching, unable to take my eyes off them, when my husband leaned over and asked, “you want to join them, don’t you? Go do it.”I jumped right in and made my way over to the deep end. They had already shifted into the full workout when I got into the group. At this point, everyone sitting around the poolside was watching. All different ages and ability levels had gathered to get some morning movement in. Soon enough, the little girl was too little to do some of the movements,…
Loving from competition leads to lack. Loving from a place of gratitude creates abundance. Years ago, I read a piece about motherhood. Back in the days when I never thought I’d ever want kids, I was curious enough that Google sent me links to articles I didn’t even know I’d want to read. That’s Google for you. This particular piece focused on the frightening side of motherhood as your heart exists outside your body in the form of a tiny human body. There is a massive vulnerability in becoming a mother. It didn’t sound fun. When Tyler and I got married, that article popped into my head. Not because I was ready to become a Mom at that point, but because I felt a new fear creeping up my spine that I had never felt before. I remember laying in bed next to him one morning as he slept, trying to identify what this fear was. I was very nervous. It wanted me to pull him into my arms and hold him with all I had. This fear was anxious and vulnerable. That’s when a phrase from that motherhood article popped into my head. My heart was living outside my…
Whenever I talk about my passion for working with young women on releasing perfectionism, there’s one response I hear that has a way of crawling under my skin. “Oh that is so needed,” people say. The tone they use to deliver the sentence makes it sound like I’m a hero stepping up to rescue young women. “Oh that is so needed…” the subtext being young women are constantly at risk of some type of peril. Over and over I hear it, and over and over I say “yes, it is” because I have nothing better with which to respond. How do you respond to someone implying there’s a fire constantly burning and you’re the one coming along with a bucket to try to calm it? You’d think I would have come up with a better response after a decade in this work, but, alas, I have not. Something about it is always irksome to me. What they’re saying, is they’re aware young women are suffering and they’re happy to hear someone is doing something about it. They know being a woman in a society determined to make them second-class citizens is really freaking hard. They know the early decades of life, spanning anywhere…
Celebrate Before the Finish Line
As I’ve been building new habits over the years, I’ve noticed most people, myself included, forget about one important part of the process: celebrating the small wins. It becomes so easy to focus on the goal exclusively that the thousands of small victories required to get there are completely overlooked or pale in comparison to the big successes. That sucks the joy out of life faster than hearing the words, “You’ve been summoned for jury duty.” And those words kill joy pretty quickly. In my opinion, we all need to give ourselves infinitely more credit in the process. These early experiences and lessons come long before the finish line and are typically the most challenging part. Creating new pathways in the brain is difficult, and it takes time. Reaching the finish line feels great, but what about the days you feel proud because you chose to show up when you didn’t want to and maintained that momentum? Those days are the building blocks of the entire goal. That’s where the magic, the learning, and the transformation happen. Credit shouldn’t just be reserved for the sparkle. It’s not all about the medal, the award, the speech, the champagne, or the confetti….
The Courage of Tiny Humans
One beautiful morning last week, my husband and I were laying poolside in Mexico as the sun cast itself upon our legs. We were enjoying our morning coffee when a staff member walked across the shallow pool. She made her way into the deeper end as two older women followed. It was time for the morning pool workout. Slowly, the group grew in number. I watched from the side as they began their warm-up. Shortly after they began, I watched as a little girl, no older than 5, walked toward the group. She circled her arms as the group did, inflatable lifesavers around each arm, and joined right in. I kept watching, unable to take my eyes off them, when my husband leaned over and asked, “you want to join them, don’t you? Go do it.”I jumped right in and made my way over to the deep end. They had already shifted into the full workout when I got into the group. At this point, everyone sitting around the poolside was watching. All different ages and ability levels had gathered to get some morning movement in. Soon enough, the little girl was too little to do some of the movements,…
Where Does Your Love Come From?
Loving from competition leads to lack. Loving from a place of gratitude creates abundance. Years ago, I read a piece about motherhood. Back in the days when I never thought I’d ever want kids, I was curious enough that Google sent me links to articles I didn’t even know I’d want to read. That’s Google for you. This particular piece focused on the frightening side of motherhood as your heart exists outside your body in the form of a tiny human body. There is a massive vulnerability in becoming a mother. It didn’t sound fun. When Tyler and I got married, that article popped into my head. Not because I was ready to become a Mom at that point, but because I felt a new fear creeping up my spine that I had never felt before. I remember laying in bed next to him one morning as he slept, trying to identify what this fear was. I was very nervous. It wanted me to pull him into my arms and hold him with all I had. This fear was anxious and vulnerable. That’s when a phrase from that motherhood article popped into my head. My heart was living outside my…
She doesn’t need a savior
Whenever I talk about my passion for working with young women on releasing perfectionism, there’s one response I hear that has a way of crawling under my skin. “Oh that is so needed,” people say. The tone they use to deliver the sentence makes it sound like I’m a hero stepping up to rescue young women. “Oh that is so needed…” the subtext being young women are constantly at risk of some type of peril. Over and over I hear it, and over and over I say “yes, it is” because I have nothing better with which to respond. How do you respond to someone implying there’s a fire constantly burning and you’re the one coming along with a bucket to try to calm it? You’d think I would have come up with a better response after a decade in this work, but, alas, I have not. Something about it is always irksome to me. What they’re saying, is they’re aware young women are suffering and they’re happy to hear someone is doing something about it. They know being a woman in a society determined to make them second-class citizens is really freaking hard. They know the early decades of life, spanning anywhere…